Title: Aperture Science wishes you a great pride month
Date: 2023-06-01 00:05

[![Aperture Laboratories logo with the 1978 pride flag colours]({static}/images/aperture_pride.jpg)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locations_of_Half-Life#Aperture_Science_Laboratories)

Aperture Science Announcement Voice:

> Congratulations, Homosexual! Your
existence has been deemed profitable in the following regions: North America,
Western Europe, and Australia.

> To celebrate the occasion we have temporarily recolored all Aperture Science
appliances in these regions to your favorite flavor of gay. Of course, we do reserve
the right to promptly back down as soon as we get the vaguest of threats
against our profits.

> For further pandering on a wider area please continue fighting for basic human
dignities and Aperture Science will be right there to celebrate your victory
with you. Afterwards. In the meantime, we'll continue to
throw money at conservative anti-LGBT politicians, since they, like us, don't
like paying taxes.

> We would like to seize this opportunity to reiterate that any kind of
accusations regarding discrimination at the human resources department were
outright fabrications. Be assured that Aperture Laboratory values every
[disposable] human test subject equally, as Federal regulations require us to.

> Please proceed over the test chamber as flamboyantly as your lack of basic
coordination will allow.

---

This blogpost stemmed from a discussion about if [rainbow capitalism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_capitalism) is worse
than armchair pandering allies. It was shamelessly stolen from 
[Charles Oberonn](https://twitter.com/charles_oberonn)'s
[blog](https://charlesoberonn.tumblr.com/post/652864770036383744/aperture-science-announcement-voice).
Anyway, [be gay, do crime](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer_anarchism#In_popular_culture),
have a nice [pride month](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_Month).